Ballz Of Steel

(The 'Z' stands for Zeus, Greek king of the gods, who has the biggest balls known to earth and the heavens).

Who's got an engrossed pair today? Porn. Well, hackers who are using porn for extortion. A website has been set up where users download of a software for a free three-day trial memberships for "Free Porn." Not any special kind of porn. Just "Free Porn." The idiots who are dumb enough to download this "free access" are met with a code that generates a stream of pop-up windows whether the person is on the internet or not demanding $80 for another 90 days of "Free Porn."

Now these pop-ups are pop-ups with balls. They appear once a day and stay open for ten minutes and appear over any open windows. If you try to close it, move it, minimize it, or re-size it, the pop-ups restore to their original size and position. They re-appear if you shut down your computer. If you don't pay, the site clearly states that you will lose full-use of your computer.

Now, what I don't get is if someone is smart enough to make this website, why settle with such a low price? $80!? I can scam that with your run-of-the-mill PayPal scam. COME ON. If I came up with a virus that spread itself through the number one earner on the internet, I would be RICH. $80? Try $800! In fact, I would create a site called "Free Rich Porn," porn for the rich and wealthy. My "girls" would be decked out in solid gold and diamond encrusted lingerie (of course, only for the first 3-5 minutes of the video. You know, the boring part), while the men will have their Ballz dipped in steel. I know it sounds painful, especially for the dudes, but they'll do whatever I tell them to when they're getting a sizable chunk of the $1 000 000 per person I'm extorting. My virus will threaten to not only take over their computer, but threaten to reveal that they're a member at BallzOfSteel.porn. It's not gay porn, but the rich and wealthy are always concerned with their name connected to something that even sound remotely gay. I'll use that to my advantage.

"Free Porn" site taking only $80 bucks a pop from idiots, you have Ballz of Steel. Now ask for more money you wimps.