"I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it"

Have you heard of Hannah Montana? Ask anyone under the age of 14 and they'll know exactly who you're talking about. I had never heard of her until a few weeks ago, but apparently in the States, she's fucking bigger than Jesus. And Jesus is pretty fucking big, especially in the States.

Exhibit A that Hannah Montana is bigger than Jesus:

Tickets for her concert sold out in as little as 12 seconds in most markets and scalpers who snapped some up are re-selling tickets for as much as $3 000 EACH ticket (I swear to God, who in this case is Hannah Montana). As a non-scientific comparison, I typed in "Jesus" into Ebay and the highest costing thing was an "18th century rare old master" of a painting entitled "Jesus Christ on the Cross." The bid is currently at $1 100. Montana wins by $1 900.

Exhibit B that Hannah Montana is bigger than Jesus:

They have erected a giant statue (*cough* IDOL *end cough*) of Hannah Montana outside of FLZ 93.3 FM in Tampa, Florida. Over past week and a bit, 20 people have been worshiping the idol Hannah Monstrosity in an attempt to win tickets, backstage passes, and $5 000 spending money for their upcoming Hannah Montana concert. Not to mention, the 12 foot tall statue is physically bigger than Jesus. Montana wins again and again.

All this Hannah Montana makes me feel left out in the teen idol swing of things. I realized that the only way you can garner the success of people such as Hannah Montana is to have highly publicized sell outs of your concert and the ensuing re-selling of the sold out tickets.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Enoch Kwok's intimate one night only acoustic concert "Kwok on a Cot" has SOLD OUT. Please don't call ticket outlets as they won't have any tickets. We also HIGHLY discourage the re-selling of tickets at prices nearing $10 000. Please, re-sell them at something more affordable, like $1 000.