Two days in and I've already went back on my non-promise to post everyday. I think this could be the start of a long and prosperous relationship.
Something that makes me laugh/cringe/_________ (adjective) is when I see guys trying to pick up girls in bars/clubs/__________ (place). It kills me every time, usually because the guy is:
A) 10 years older
B) creepy/creepy/_________ (adjective that rhymes with sleazy)
and the girl is:
A) 10 years younger
B) way out of his league.
I'm all for miracles, but there are some things even God himself can't pull off (I'm looking at you According To Jim). What actually makes a guy think that he has a shot? (other than the fact the girl might be plastered). Because all of my friends are hot (if you know me, you're hot), I consider myself to be an expert at the observation of the pickup. First, the guy will try to make small talk, something related to the body or clothing. If he's really adventurous, the weather or a local sports team. Next, the male subject will move closer in an attempt to initiate physical contact with the female subject. He'll introduce her to his entourage, usually comprised of the same losers from the male subject's high school, even if they've been out of school for the past 15 years. If the man isn't a cheap bastard, he'll purchase more alcohol for the female subject to increase his odds. This step is key as the number of drinks someone has is proportional to the chances of her not realizing you're a douche chill. The final step involves the female's friends pulling her away from your creepy prying arms. If you've been a cheap bastard, you've lost no money and you're up 3-5 grazes of someone who you're not allowed to be with by law in 146 countries in the world. AWESOME 3-5 TIMES!!
I'm an everyday Mystery. I think that's why I'm not with anyone; I should use my method and pray for miracles.
On an unrelated note, Blogger has really improved since the last time I used it a couple of years ago (I guess that happens when you're purchased by the biggest company in the world). Except for the HTML thing (which I still can't figure out and means if you're looking at http://thelastgreatcanadianjournal.blogspot.com, the simplistic layout you see before you will probably stay for a while), the features have really improved. I'm digging the spell check within the posting area, the automatic draft saver, the 1GB or so of picture space, and signing-in with your pre-existing Google account. FEATURED BLOG PLEASE.
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